Maybe you had the realization during a high school tennis match or a college bio lab. It’s one most competitive people reach: the realization that you should only compete with yourself. Perhaps you’ve made it your mission to outperform your personal best with each new exercise program. But what happens if you get sick and fall behind or just have an off day? It's easy to forget growth doesn't happen in a straight line when you live in a world that is obsessed with performance and achievement.
Competing with yourself can be a sneaky form of self-sabotage. Ask yourself, am I basing my self-worth on my achievements? If the answer is yes, you may be sabotaging yourself, getting in the way of your happiness, inner peace, and successful relationships. Instead of enjoying the moment, you’re always chasing something. Plus, when you feel like your efforts aren’t measuring up, your self-worth runs right out the door.
So how do you stay goal oriented and ambitious without falling into this trap? Focus on finding healthier ways to feel whole. We have 10 tips to get you started on your journey to more self-love and fulfillment.
10 Ways to Expand Your Self-Worth
- Write a list of things you like about yourself. Try to include more qualities than achievements. You can ask a family member, friend, or partner to write one for you too. Then make a list of things you’re grateful for.
- Do something nice for someone else. Volunteer at a food bank or offer career advice.
- Do something nice for yourself. Make reservations at your favorite restaurant, buy that top you’ve been eyeing, or treat yourself to a massage.
- Learn something new or rediscover old passions. You’ve always wanted to learn jiu jitsu. And what happened to the old sketchbook?
- Practice positive self-talk. Remind yourself that you are worthy.
- Take a pause on social media. Most people advertise their “best self” on social media. Seeing photos of family vacations or reading about promotions can make you feel like you’re slacking, even if you’ve vowed not to compete with others.
- Practice work-life separation. Try to be present when you’re off the clock. Maybe this means logging out of your email at 6 pm.
- Invest more energy into your relationships. Human connection brings us meaning, support, and joy.
- Reexamine your core values. What do you want to bring to your marriage, friendships, or community?
- Most importantly, place more emphasis on who you are inside. Because that’s what counts.
